To Search, or Not to Search?

I recently met a man who told me he was adopted as an infant after I shared with him that I had adopted my youngest son.  I asked him if his adoption was closed and told him about our open adoption. He had some questions about open adoption and then he told me “I don’t even know her name, but I am a little curious.”  I think that is how many adult adoptees feel.  Some have a deep drive to search for their biological roots, others could go either way.  He followed up with me “I don’t even know where I’d start.” I got the feeling from him it was just a non-issue, but for many it is a huge deal!
Hello Dear Friends & Sisters:
An editor in Australia recently asked me about my experience of search and reunion. My response?
I’ve actually never searched! People always ask me if I want to search, and I find it difficult to answer. On the one hand, of course I am curious (who wouldn’t be?). Do I look like my biological family members? Are we similar, at all, in personality or taste?
On the other hand, in all honestly part of the reason I have never searched is because I do think that it would affect relations with my (adoptive) family, and it probably comes as no surprise to fellow global citizens that I am very protective of my family’s feelings.


Sarah - Content Specialist for, is a mother both biologically and through domestic infant open adoption. She resides with her husband and two boys in Ohio. She is passionate about open adoption and adoption education. In her free time she enjoys cooking, photography, writing, and hiking. You can find more of her adoption work at Heart For Open Adoption on Facebook or on

Leave Comment