Talking About Transracial Adoption: A Guide

If you are anything like me, sometimes you just stare in dumbfounded amazement, with a crinkled brow and a look of pure bewilderment on your face when you hear the things that come out of some people’s mouths. While some are quick witted with their responses, others scold and many just walk away.  We all hope that one day people will learn to say nicer things or think before they speak. When talking about transracial adoption and families, many say all the wrong things. How can you help them correct what they saying?

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Unfortunately, not everyone has gotten this memo.

As adoptive parents, we sometimes find ourselves on the receiving end of horrible unwanted questions and unwarranted comments from strangers and even—gasp—family and friends who catch us off guard in the school parking lot or over a cup of coffee. Regardless of whether the horrible remarks are made accidentally or on purpose, they can be difficult to process. Here are some of the horrible things people say about transracial adoption and things they should have said instead.

To see the full slideshow, click here.


Sarah - Content Specialist for, is a mother both biologically and through domestic infant open adoption. She resides with her husband and two boys in Ohio. She is passionate about open adoption and adoption education. In her free time she enjoys cooking, photography, writing, and hiking. You can find more of her adoption work at Heart For Open Adoption on Facebook or on

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