What if I've hurt my adoptive mothers feelings?

What can I do if I hurt my adoptive moms feelings?

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  • Answer ✓
    That can be a very tough situation to be in. It would really depend on the reason your adoptive mother's feelings are hurt. Many times, this has to do with bringing up or wanting to reunite with birth parents. If that is the case, there is not a whole lot you can do other than offer reassurance. Even then, this may be something that your adoptive mother simply needs to work out on her own. 

    Adoptees can sometimes be in a very weird position. Many times an adoptive parent feels that any mention or attempt to meet a birth parent is some sort of betrayal. They see it as you saying they are somehow not good enough. It is important to know , first of all, that this is not your burden to bare. This is a simple product of pride. Nothing you did caused this. If your adoptive mom feels this way, it is a direct result of her insecurities. Of course you can be sympathetic. You can even sit her down and reassure her that you simply want to know your birth family. 

    At the end of the day, a little reassurance can go a long way. However, they may have to journey through their insecurities on their own. As your journey proceeds, they will see from all of it that they did not need to worry. It is not your responsibility to carry them through it nor should it prevent you from seeking information about your birth family. I do not mean that to sound harsh, just to point out that it is a completely normal process. It is not your intent to hurt your adoptive mother's feelings no more than it is her intent to try to make you feel guilty. You both have to process your adoption story in your own time and in your own way. 

    You can read more about this exact topic here!
    For more about dealing with life as an adoptee, click here! 
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