How do men react to unplanned pregnancy?

How do men react to unplanned pregnancy? 

Best Answers

  • DeeDee
    Answer ✓
    Hello,
    That is a really tough question! I would say it all depends on the man. Some men will be very supportive and understanding (maybe even excited if they were hoping to have children). Others may be scared, angry or upset. It would also depend on how strong the relationship is, how old both parties are, how long they have been together, what his financial situation is, etc. There are a lot of factors to consider. 

    The most important thing to remember is: No matter what the situation, you need to tell him as soon as possible. Together, you can then figure everything out. If you're able to parent your child, you and your man can talk about what you need to do to prepare. If you're not able to, you can discuss your options. Through open, honest communication, you can make the best choices for yourself and your child.

    If you feel you need some support or want to ask others who have been through an unplanned pregnancy some questions, you might want to visit the adoption forums at https://adoption.com/forums/10/unplanned-pregnancy/. There's a thread on considering your options as well as one on unplanned pregnancy support. You'll find many women who are/were in the same situation as you, and they may be able to offer some additional suggestions and advice. Remember, no matter how you feel right now, you're not alone. So many women have been right where you are today. You will get through this. 

    I don't know how old you are, but if you're young, here is a great article on telling your parents about your pregnancy: https://adoption.com/how-we-told-my-parents-about-my-unplanned-pregnancy

    You might also find these articles helpful:

    Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy: What Should I Do? - https://adoption.org/facing-unplanned-pregnancy

    4 Things Every Woman Experiencing a Crisis Pregnancy Needs - https://adoption.com/4-things-every-woman-experiencing-a-crisis-pregnancy-needs

    My Story of Unplanned Pregnancy and Choosing Adoption - https://adoption.com/my-story-of-unplanned-pregnancy-and-choosing-adoption

    Best of luck to you!



  • Answer ✓
    It really depends. I'm a birth mom, and I help run both online and in person support groups for women facing unplanned pregnancies, so I'm pretty familiar with the complicated relationships that can happen with the fathers. 

    There is no one answer, every guy reacts differently. Initially, my birth daughter's bio dad wanted to get married and raise her together. It was mostly on my shoulders to pay for medical care, but he helped a little in the beginning. At one point, he was very excited to have a child together. However, the relationship deteriorated pretty quickly to the point that it was safer and healthier for me to not have any contact with him. He wasn't very happy about it, and the relationship ended on bad terms. After I placed her for adoption, he came back into the picture. He and I don't have any contact, but he occasionally visits our birth daughter and has some communication with the adoptive parents. 

    Other times I have seen birth fathers walk out immediately after a woman finds out she's pregnant, or deny that the child is his. Sometimes they have strong viewpoints and really push them, whether that's abortion, parenting or adoption. 

    It's important to remember, though, that not all men react negatively to the news of an unplanned pregnancy. Many men step up and support the woman through her entire pregnancy. I know a girl who got pregnant very young, and her boyfriend stayed with her the whole time. They made the decision to place together, and are now married. I know another man who helped his child's mother parent, even though they were not in a relationship. He provided child support and shared custody, and it's been very amicable. 

    Long story short, there are no rules as to how a man will react to an unplanned pregnancy. How he does reflects quite a bit about his character. There are really good men out there, and some not so good. It depends on the person and the situation. 
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