Both adoptive parents and adoptees chimed in to answer this question, exploring the reasoning behind why an adopted child might reject his or her parents.
Many talked about how to respond to the classic child retort of “You’re not my REAL mom and dad!” Others addressed the need to work patiently through attachment difficulties and trust issues. One mother explained, “When the first bond children have with their biological parents is dysfunctional or terminated, the children fear and loathe bonding again. At first, they will try to be charming and sweet. You know they are beginning to love you when they start lashing out at you and trying to push you away. The more they love you, the harder they fight to push you away and hurt you. If you know this, it doesn’t hurt.”