Sometimes in adoption you go into the placement with one set of expectations and over time they change. Sometimes changing the boundaries can be scary, but when looking at the best interest of the child, you can make good decisions. So what happens when the people in a closed adoption suddenly want an open adoption after years of no contact? This birth mother tells her story of how she found she needed an open adoption.
“Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.”
Paulo Coelho wrote, “Important encounters are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other.” And I believe in those words with all of my being.
I was 21 years old when I placed my baby boy with his family. I had spent a good six months trying to find not just any family, but the right family–his family–the people that he was meant to be with.
As I prepared for delivery and placement, having absolutely no idea of the heartbreak and emotions to come, I wrote very deliberately in a journal to send with him. I wanted him to have every answer to any question he would ever have regarding me, his birth father, and our decision to place him for adoption. I wrote a complete health history, genetic details, personality traits, answers to questions, and letters of love and support. In my mind, I was wrapping and gifting a beautiful package of life, and in my letting go and moving on, I had no plans to return to that very difficult time.