mother, father, and son in a field of grass

Choosing Adoption Over Abortion

It is no secret that a lot of women seek abortion services when facing an unplanned pregnancy. In 2020, it was estimated that there are more than 600,000 abortions every year with less than 15,000 adoptions per year. But why is this? Why do more women consider abortion than adoption? There are many different reasons and it is different for every woman. The most common reasons include beliefs that it is less expensive and quicker, involves less emotional trauma, and the fear that other people will find out about the pregnancy. Abortion is not a simple fix to an unplanned pregnancy. Choosing adoption over abortion is a much more viable plan. Read on to find out why choosing adoption over abortion is a better option to consider. 

Cost

Many people think that adoptions are expensive for the birth mother. Abortions are much more expensive than you think. It is estimated that abortions cost between hundreds to thousands of dollars, while adoptions are always less expensive. For a birth mom, placing her child for adoption is free. Once she chooses the adoptive family, the birth mom may receive financial help from the adoptive family. The adoptive family may help cover the expenses related to the pregnancy such as doctor visits, hospital stays, transportation, and other things that might be necessary. For many women facing unplanned pregnancies, the cost of having a baby is a scary thing to consider especially when you may be homeless or even just a single person thinking about living on one income. Adding another mouth to feed is expensive. If you choose to place your baby for adoption, you receive help while pregnant which can be a big deal. Doctors and hospitals are very expensive. 

Confidentiality 

Another misconception that many women have is that abortion is more confidential than adoption. Women facing unplanned pregnancies fear what may happen if someone finds out about their pregnancy so they turn to abortion to end the pregnancy as a way to quickly fix their situation and keep it a secret. Women often perceive adoption as admitting their unexpected pregnancy to others and fear what those others may think. With adoption, you have the option of remaining anonymous. You can register as a confidential patient at the hospital and you can place your child for adoption confidentially with an experienced adoption agency. The adoption plan you choose for your child can be a closed adoption. A closed adoption is an adoption plan that keeps your information confidential from the adoptive family. Read on to find out more about closed adoptions. 

Emotional Well-Being 

A lot of women perceive adoption as an emotionally distressing decision so they turn to abortion thinking it will be less emotional. They think of adoption as “giving up” their baby and they just can’t handle that. With adoption, you are giving a gift to another family that may not be able to conceive their own children. Adoption and abortion are both emotional decisions that can affect you. Abortion may even be more emotionally distressing. In fact, many women experience mental and emotional side effects after having an abortion. Abortion is final and many women regret their decision to have an abortion later in life. Choosing adoption over abortion gives you more options. With adoption, you can choose to have an open adoption in which you can remain in contact with the adoptive family allowing a lifelong connection to your child. Having an open adoption eliminates the what-if questions you may have, whereas abortion only increases these questions. These questions are not eliminated but answered with an open adoption. A lot of women who have placed their babies for adoption feel at peace once the adoption is complete. They feel that it is the right decision. 

Understanding Adoption 

It is a fact that many women don’t consider adoption simply because they don’t understand it. Abortion is widely understood as it is unfortunately advocated for by the media and politicians. Adoptions today are much different than what is portrayed in the media. The adoption process places the birth mother in control of the adoption plan and allows you to plan the type of adoption that you desire for your child. Not only do birth mothers have the opportunity to plan the type of adoption they desire, but they also get to choose the family that will adopt their child. As mentioned above, you as the birth parent get to decide what type of post-adoption contact you would like to have with your child. You can choose between having no contact and having a relationship with your child. With adoption, it is important to remember that you are choosing a life for your child. 

The above reasons are probably the most common reasons why women don’t choose adoption over abortion. After considering these reasons, I want you to consider some more reasons why choosing adoption over abortion may be a better option for you. Read on to learn of some other reasons women are choosing adoption over abortion.

Your Child Deserves a Better Life

This is one of the most common things you hear from women who choose adoption over abortion. When a woman chooses adoption over abortion, she is choosing life for her child. She desires for her child to live a happy life with a loving and supportive family that can provide opportunities that she can’t provide. Abortion does not provide a child with a loving and supportive family. Abortion terminates a child’s life before they even have a chance to come into this world. They don’t even have the chance to live. 

You Are Giving a Gift to Another Family

As mentioned above, many people think of placing a child for adoption as “giving up” their child. When choosing adoption over abortion, you are not “giving up” anything, you are merely giving a gift to another family. For some families, they desire to have children, but for some reason, they are unable to conceive. First, they may try fertility drugs then they may pursue adoption. You can fulfill their desires by giving them a gift of a child to raise as their own and in the process, ensure a better life for the child. Many women often choose adoption knowing they gave a priceless gift to another family. 

Adoption is an Option at All Stages of Pregnancy

The decision to having an abortion is often a rash decision. It is made quickly without considering all of the options. Abortion can only be performed at certain stages of pregnancy so you are limited to making that decision quickly. With adoption, you can take your time to decide between adoption and parenting your child. You don’t want to rush into a decision before you are ready, so take the time to consider your options. Abortion is a life-altering decision and it is permanent. Adoption is only permanent after the legal proceedings have taken place and you have signed the paperwork. And it does not result in the ending of a life.

Adoption is the Safer Option 

When choosing adoption over abortion, you don’t have any medical risks associated with it. When choosing to have an abortion, you have to consider the medical risks associated with it. While there are medical risks associated with giving birth, it is ultimately up to the birth mother to do her research and compare the risks associated with each. 

24/7 Support

Choosing adoption over abortion is an emotional process but with it, you can receive 24/7 support. Adoption agencies provide trained counselors which you can access 24 hours a day through your emotional journey. You will receive quality counseling as you decide if adoption is the right option for you, during the adoption process, and after the adoption is complete. When you choose abortion, you are limited to the types of counseling you need. 

The Adoption Process is Quicker

When you choose adoption over abortion, you can start the process right away no matter what stage of the pregnancy you are in. All you need to do is contact an adoption agency and an adoption specialist will help you begin the process as soon as you are ready. The adoption specialist will obtain your information, get you matched with an adoptive family, and help you move forward with the process. The opposite is true of abortions. Abortions are often a longer process and can have more requirements. Before you can have an abortion, you often have to receive education and/or an ultrasound before you can proceed. You also have to wait several days before you can have the procedure. With adoption, you can start the process immediately. 

You Can Make an Educated Decision 

Often when you contact an abortion service provider, they give you limited and biased information before completing an abortion. This information is often not factual. When choosing adoption, you can contact an adoption agency that will provide you with objective information so you can make an educated decision that is best for you and your child. 

My goal in providing this information is not to convince you that adoption is better than abortion. It is meant to provide you with helpful information to guide you in making a decision that is right for you. Ultimately, it’s your decision. Read on for a story of one woman who chose adoption over abortion.

Jane’s Story

 When she was 18 years old, Jane was working as a bagger at a local grocery store. One day, Jane found herself pregnant. She couldn’t believe it, but two missed menstrual cycles later, she was convinced. It was completely unplanned. Jane knew that she was not ready to raise a child on her own. Her father told her that she should get an abortion. She visited an abortion clinic where she was told it was too late for her to get an abortion because she was already past the first trimester. Knowing she did not have the support of her father and has become the black sheep in her family, Jane’s only option was to proceed with the pregnancy then place the baby for adoption. Jane turned to an adoption agency for help. Jane had the opportunity to meet the adoptive family that would take care of her baby. She fell in love with the family and decided that adoption was the right decision for her. Jane says that even if she had reached the abortion clinic in time, she would have still chosen adoption for her baby because morally she did not feel it was right to abort a baby. She only visited the abortion clinic because her father insisted that she should. Even though her father cast her out of the family as a black sheep, Jane still had the support of other family members and friends. When asked about what she wished knew at the time of her unplanned pregnancy, Jane says that she wished she would not have worried about how people would react to her pregnancy. She said that all of her friends were very supportive of her and her decision. 

I would like to thank Jane for sharing her story with us. I hope that her story has given you some hope and helps you make the right decision for yourself and your baby. Adoption is not always the right choice for everyone, but it is a good option nonetheless. If you are still unsure about your decision, I highly suggest that you seek out supportive services. These supportive services can come from adoption agencies, counseling centers, or even just friends and family. No matter the choice you make, you need a support base. 

I have written this article to provide you with some helpful information so that you can make an informed decision. Don’t make a rash decision if you are feeling pressured to go one way or the other. I hope that this article has provided you with some helpful information. Whether you choose adoption, abortion, or even to parent your child, it needs to be the best decision for you and your child. 

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Emili Schurke

Emili Schurke is the youngest of three children. She was adopted when she was three years old. She has a huge heart for adoption and foster care. She currently resides with her parents and assists with the children in their care. Emili holds a special place in her heart for children with special needs. She works as a special education paraprofessional while she is pursuing her Masters in Teaching Special Education from Drury University. In 2018, she graduated with her Bachelor's in Elementary Studies from College of the Ozarks, located in Point Lookout, Missouri. She is excited to share her adoption story with those around her.