You are Part of Her Plan

It is easy to get wrapped up in the guilt of feeling like you are part of the pain for feeling joy in the adoption of your child when your child’s birth parents are feeling loss and grief.  We have to look to the bright side and know that we are their choice and a solution to the situation in which made them decide adoption placement was the best decision.  It’s OK to deeply feel empathy and love for your child’s birth parents, but feeling guilt is not something they wish upon you.  Guilt can prevent bonding wit your child and cause post adoption depression.

Part of the Relief

A few days ago we talked about the guilt that sometimes accompanies adoptive parents for feeling joy while our child’s birth parents are feeling pain.

“You are part of her plan. You’re not the cause of her pain, but part of the relief.”

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Sarah - Content Specialist for, is a mother both biologically and through domestic infant open adoption. She resides with her husband and two boys in Ohio. She is passionate about open adoption and adoption education. In her free time she enjoys cooking, photography, writing, and hiking. You can find more of her adoption work at Heart For Open Adoption on Facebook or on

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