More Mucked Up Adoption Advice from Dear Abby

Below are snippets from an article about the advice Dear Abby lends an adoptive parent seeking help and understanding on how to handle opening up an adoption for their child. Abby doesn’t always get her advice right when it comes to really sensitive topics. Her advice is outdated and painful for many families in open adoption to read.  See this author’s take on the situation.

Dear Abby,

I wonder if you might consider outsourcing responses to questions you get about adoption. It’s evident from your previous misguided advice that you are sometimes out of your element adoption-wise. Let me get readers up to speed on this latest request for adoption advice.

Dear Abby: Should We Let Birth Grandparents In?

Uncertain Down South said that she and her husband met their daughter’s birth parents briefly in the hospital at the time of her birth, but the birth parents wanted no further contact. Both birth parents had issues with drug addiction, and the daughter was born with drug issues, as well…….

Dear Abby’s Adoption Advice

Abby started by chastising Uncertain Down South: Your daughter’s birth parents made their wishes clear from the outset. You wouldn’t be in this bind if you had respected them…….

What Dear Abby Needs to Know about Adoption

I said  in a recent interview that openness is when people deal with What Is. And closedness is when people DON’T deal with what is. Instead maybe they deal with what they wish were true, or perhaps they don’t deal at all……..

To read the full article, click here.


Sarah - Content Specialist for, is a mother both biologically and through domestic infant open adoption. She resides with her husband and two boys in Ohio. She is passionate about open adoption and adoption education. In her free time she enjoys cooking, photography, writing, and hiking. You can find more of her adoption work at Heart For Open Adoption on Facebook or on

Leave Comment