How do I know if adoption is right for me?

How do I know if adoption is right for me? 

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  • Answer ✓
    I have always believed that our families are set apart for us in heaven, and that it is our job, as parents, to find our kids in order to make our families complete. For some people it is simply (or not simply, depending on your fertility and health issues!) a matter of getting pregnant and giving birth, but for others of us we may have to travel far and wide to find the kids that were meant to live in our home. For me, I knew adoption was the right path for me to take after I did a lot of research on infertility treatments, and a lot of soul-searching. I realized that the cost (at the time) of in-vitro fertilization was going to be pretty steep, and that there was no guarantee that I would have a successful pregnancy. I also came to the realization that, for me, being pregnant was not the most important part of the journey--becoming a mother was what I wanted more than anything. (This isn't always the case for everyone, of course. For some women pregnancy and child birth is one part of the process that they desperately want, and that's ok too!) Once I realized that I wanted a child more than a pregnancy adoption really felt like the right fit for my husband and I. We further felt confident in our decision when we met with the right agency and caseworker and realized that we were one step closer to becoming parents. Some people choose to go through private agencies, others feel drawn to fostering and adopting from the state, and other families choose to adopt children from different countries. Whatever path you take, however you find your children and grow your family, just know that being a parent is hard for everyone, no matter how those kids got to you. Think about what is most important to you and your family, and I am certain that there will be an option that feels right! You can do this, just take it one step at a time!
  • Answer ✓

    I will first say that adoption is not right for everyone. It is a selfless kind of love, even for the adoptive parents. No matter why you found yourself wanting to pursue adoption, it is an emotional process.

    For my husband and I, we were unable to have our children biologically. We had always wanted to adoption, whether it was our only option or not. It did, however, became our only way, but we also wanted it. We would love an adopted child no differently than if we were to have a child naturally. And we both felt that way.  So my advice to you, is that if you are going to adopt a child, with your spouse, please make sure you are both on the same page. Adoption is hard enough as it is, you need to have the support of your spouse.  

    I also suggest that you dig down deep in your heart and ask yourself if you can love a child that you did not give birth to? Not because you wished you had given birth to the child but because he/she was born to another woman. It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed in my life. We have plenty of family that has adopted and then when we adopted our son, I finally realized what it meant to love another woman’s child. It truly is beautiful. If you want some general information regarding adoption, you should check out: adoptionarticles.com.

    My other piece of advice. Ask others about their experience. You will be amazed at how many people have adopted. And everyone has a story. Sometimes it is great to get more perspective and know what they went through, it may help you become aware of situations that may come up in your adoption process.

    No matter what you decide, know that adoption from the start, comes from the heart.

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