Why is adoption good?

edited March 7 in New to Adopting
Why is adoption good?

Answers

  • edited March 7
    Children are waiting. Waiting to find loving homes and families that care.

    Adoption is amazing. It creates family and love. But it’s also really hard, and it’s honestly not right for everyone. You need to make sure you are ready to adopt. Or you need to make sure you want to place your child for adoption.

    Adoption is good when you do it for the right reasons. When you adopt or place your child because you care and love and you want a good life for them. The whole triad of adoption—birth family, adoptive family, and adoptee—can benefit from adoption.

    When the birth family is unable to parent or take care of the child and they place the child for adoption to find a better home—adoption is good.

    When the adoptive family decides to adopt because they are ready and want to love and care for a child—adoption is good.

    When the birth family feels pressured into placing their child, and they feel like their child was stolen from them—adoption is not good.

    When the adoptive parents adopt because they feel like they have to or they’re pressured by friends and family—adoption is not good.

    Adoption is a hard process for everyone involved. It can be beautiful, but it can also be painful trying to get through the entire process of placing or adopting. It’s hard being adopted and wondering what your birth parents are like or why your birth parents placed you. But when you adopt or place for the right reasons, when you’ve done the soul-searching to prepare yourself, when you love your child—adoption is good. It’s beautiful.

    Adoption has blessed the lives of so many. It’s a lengthy process, but it’s worth it, and it creates forever families. Adoption is good. It’s important. We need adoption, even though it is not best for everyone.
  • Adoption can be a great thing! It's not for everyone, but for many people that I know, adoption is the best thing that ever happened for them. There are some really great things about adoption for all members of the adoption triad. 

    Adoption is a wonderful way to build a family. It's not just a 'second best' way to become a parent. I know many parents who have prayed and hoped and waited for years for the opportunity to adopt a baby. I have seen the joy on their faces when they heard the news that they were matched with an expectant mom. I've seen them cry happy tears when they announce that they've brought their baby home. The family I placed with is the cutest ever, and they share so much fun and love. They were meant to be, and their family wouldn't exist without adoption. 

    Adoption can be a really good thing for the adoptee as well. It can be hard- adoption is a loss. But it can also be the safest, most stable option for them. I know that my birth daughter will grow up in a happy home with stable parents who love each other as much as they love her. She will have everything I wished for her. Since we have an open adoption, she will also grow up with me in her life. I will be able to answer any questions she might have and make sure she knows I love her. This will hopefully lessen any issues that she might have understanding her adoption story. 

    Adoption for birth parents can also be a wonderful thing. For me personally, it's been the hardest and best thing ever. I miss my birth daughter, but I know that she is safe and happy and that helps me feel at peace with my decision. I was also able to grow up and focus on myself so that I can be the best person I can be. 

    Adoption is hard, but so worth it for so many people. 
  • One of the best ways to understand how adoption is good to understand how adoption is bad. It is hard to comprehend how adoption might ever be a bad thing. There are hundreds of thousands of children who need a home. How could finding these children a forever family ever be a bad thing? However, it is not always so black and white. There is a gray area where misunderstanding, fraud, and even evil in adoption resides. 

    Adoption is good when a child gains a forever family when they did not have one or are not able to be with their birth family. Adoption is bad when a child is ripped from their family through fraud or a broken system. For example, an adoption agency was brought up and sentenced on fraud charges for accepting money and administering bribes to aid in fraudulent international adoptions in Ethiopia. This unfortunately is only one of many similar stories of adoptive families finding out that their child was not placed for adoption but stolen or placed under fraudulent circumstances. 

    Domestically, there are stories of birth mothers being coerced or feeling threatened if they did not place their child. This coercion may come from family members, a significant other, or even an adoptive agency or adoptive parents. If a birth mother is a minor, she may feel or actually be given no choice in the matter. In these circumstances, adoption is anything but good. 

    To answer the question at hand, adoption IS good. In general. Any good thing has some risk of evil touching it. It is despicable and heartbreaking when that happens. That is why it is all the more important to make sure you have a reputable agency and take adoption education seriously before moving forward. 
  • Hi Hannah,
    I'm glad you asked this question! There is so much information out there on adoption, both good and bad. Some people are very pro-adoption and others are very anti-adoption. You've no doubt read stories of birth parents wanting their children back, feeling like they've been coerced, and being angry not only at adoption in general, but also at adoptive parents. You may have also heard about adoptees who are angry at their birth parents, hate their adoptive families and wish they were never adopted. These are very sad and unfortunate situations that can make you question whether adoption is a good choice. 

    The important thing to remember is that everyone has a different experience. For some, adoption has resulted in unbearable pain and they deeply regret being a part of it. But for many, it was the best decision they made. Adoption can be a beautiful experience under the right circumstances.

    In our case, adoption allowed our daughter's birth mother to give her child a better life and allowed us to be parents. I won't get into personal details, but she was at peace with her decision, even though it was painful and difficult. We are blessed and grateful to be the proud parents of an amazing child. And we will never forget the sacrifice our daughter's birth mom made. We speak of her with admiration and are always willing to answer any questions our daughter has about her biological family. Our daughter is happy to be part of our family and says she is glad we are her parents. In this case, adoption worked out well for everyone involved. 

    So in my opinion, adoption is good! Children are raised in loving homes by people who adore them and are able to provide for their needs. Expectant moms who realize they are unable to parent are able to give their kids everything they can't provide. And although not every aspect of adoption is a happy one — it always involves loss — in most cases, it works out well. 

    Hope that helps! Here are a few articles you might find useful: 

    5 Things I've Learned Because I'm an Adoptive Parent
    The Greatest Reward as An Adoptive Parent

    And here is a discussion thread on the topic:
    Is Adoption Really a Good Thing?

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