What If my child doesn't want to reunite with me?

What If my child doesn't want to reunite with me?

Best Answer

  • This can certainly being a disheartening situation. For many reasons, it is a simple reality that your child may choose not to reunite with you. Ultimately, it is a decision you must respect. However, this does not make it any easier. 

    Many times, people will view these heartfelt emotional reunions shown on tv and social media, and get a false notion of what reunion might be. When their reunion doesn't happen or doesn't go the way they wanted, it can be heartbreaking. They may feel let down and resentful of others. 

    Your child may not want a reunion due to fear or hesitance. In this case, it is best to give them time. Leave the ball in their court. Make sure that they have your information if they ever change their mind. They may not, however, you will know that you did everything you could and have left the option to them if they ever decide otherwise. 

    Some children may have been given a false narrative or no narrative at all why they were placed for adoption or regarding information about their birth parents. If you are able, write your child a letter detailing information about you and also their placement. Leave them with as much information as possible. Even if this does not convince them to have a reunion, they will at least know more about you and also more about themselves. 

    For more information about what to do in this situation, you can read a great article on this exact topic here. Also, it might do good to visit the forums at Adoption.com for advice and more tips on your situation. 
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