Should I give up my baby for adoption?

Many women who find themselves pregnant but not ready to be a parent are asking this question. Of course, the first thing to know is that choosing adoption is never giving up! It's about lovingly placing a child with a family where they will be cherished, nurtured, and love. But what advice would you give to someone wondering about whether or not this is the right choice for HER baby?

Best Answers

  • edited March 12 Answer ✓
    This is probably one of the hardest questions to answer.

    But first, let's get one thing perfectly clear: You're not "giving up" your baby.

    The words "giving up" convey feelings of not wanting your child. It denotes that you are giving away something that you don't want or really care about.

    When it comes to adoption, these words are unequivocally NOT TRUE.

    You are not giving up on your child. You are not giving them away because you don't want them. In essence, you are not abandoning them.

    If you are wondering about whether or not you should PLACE your child for adoption, there are a lot of things to consider. Don't feel pressured by those around you who are pushing you towards adoption. This is your choice. It is your decision. That little life that is growing inside of you is yours should you decide to parent. That child does not belong to anyone else until you say so, and until you feel like it is the right decision.

    Now, I'm not going to sugarcoat things. Coming to the decision of adoption can be filled with heartache, sorrow, and a lot of stress. It is a decision that should not be taken lightly. When you are considering placing your child for adoption, think about all the pros and cons. Lay everything out. It would be unwise to hide the truth behind curtains. Think about whether you are prepared or not to raise a baby. Are you emotionally, mentally, financially, and physically capable of doing so? Look for advice and support from trusted family members, friends, religious leaders, and so forth. Ask them for advice, but always remember that—in the end—it is still your decision. No matter what.

    Above all, the best advice I can give you on this one is to follow your heart. Cliché, I know. But I'm being completely serious. Do what feels right. Let those innate feelings guide your judgment. If you don't feel good about it, if you have a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach, don't do it. Simple as that.

    Adoption is a wonderful thing. It is a way to bring families together. So if you decide to choose adoption, know you are helping create a family. Know that you are making the best decision for you and your child should you decide to go that route.
  • edited September 12 Answer ✓
    Wow. Caroline is right, this question is super hard to answer. I am glad she discussed how you are not "giving up" your child but making a decision based on what you think is best for your child!

    For one, I am not in your shoes. In fact, no one is. So don’t let what we say or what someone else is telling you to do, sway your decision one way or another. This is a decision that needs to be made by you and only you. This is your body, your child and your child’s future. I can’t say what I would do if I were in your shoes but I can try to help point you in the right direction.

    Choosing adoption isn’t easy. I am sure being faced with an unplanned pregnancy isn’t either. I would suggest that you go to and educate yourself on what your options are when faced with a unplanned pregnancy. There is a lot of support out there for you, I do not want you to go at this alone. If your community has a local adoption agency, I also suggest you sit down and meet with a social worker. Most counties also have social workers if you do not have a local adoption agency. These social workers are licensed and trained to help women who are faced with an unplanned pregnancy and help educate them on what their options are.

    I am forever grateful to a woman who made an adoption plan for her unplanned pregnancy because it made me a mom. However, I want you to make this decision because it is what you think is best for you and your baby. If you need more help you can reach out here too, That way you can educate yourself on the adoption process too, so you know what to expect.

    I wish you the very best in whatever decision you make.

Sign In or Register to comment.