Can I adopt a child from someone I know?

Can I adopt a child from someone I know?

Best Answers

  • edited May 8 Answer ✓
    Hi Dee, 

         Yes, you can! In the case of a domestic infant adoption, it's fairly simple (as far as adoption goes!). If you know someone who is expecting and wants to place their baby with you, you would find an adoption agency or lawyer who would help walk you through the adoption process. Adopting from someone you know does not mean you can just take the baby home with you and raise it as your own. You would still need a home study, and to go through all the proper legal channels. The birth parents would need to sign papers terminating their parental rights and giving them to you. 
         In many ways, adopting domestically from someone you know can be a great thing! Knowing the birth parents of your child will be a blessing when they have questions about them, because you will already know them. It can also make open adoptions easier, since you were acquainted before the child was even born. I have seen several situations where a birth mother has placed with a friend or family member, and it's gone very well. 
         I have also seen situations where a birth mother placed with someone she knew, and that made it harder. It may be difficult to find boundaries that are comfortable for both parties if you had a relationship with the birth parents previously. It takes some extra work, but is doable as long as both parties are willing to communicate and compromise. 
         If the child is older and the biological parent is consenting to place with you, the process is about the same. However, if the child is in the foster system and the biological parents do not want you to adopt the child, it's a whole different ballgame. If the parental rights of the bio parents are terminated and you are a relative, you have a good chance of being able to adopt the child. If you are not a relative, it's harder but not unheard of. The best course of action in that instance would be to go to the child's caseworker to find out your options, since laws vary by county and state. 

    Here are some resources you can check out as far as adoption in general, both domestically and from the foster system. All of the guidelines apply if you are adopting from someone you know. Best of luck!

    https://adoption.com/adoption-from-foster-care-how-it-works

    https://adoption.com/how-to-adopt-a-child-guide
  • Answer ✓
    Great answer above! Absolutely you can! I actually have twice! There are a lot of ins and outs to the process, but it is most definitely possible and even a beautiful thing if carried out with caution. 
    Adopting from someone you know will be very much a traditional domestic adoption, minus having to wait to be matched. This, of course, will cut the "wait" time you hear about dramatically. If you are a relative, you will need to check the laws within your state to see what is necessary for your specific situation. One important thing to note that not all relatives are considered "Relative" enough for kinship adoption. In some states, you must be a grandparents, Aunt/Uncle, or first cousin of a child in order for it to be considered kinship adoption. Many times, a lot of expenses and requirements can be waived in these situations. A good place to start to look for information about adoption laws in your states is here! 

    If this is someone you know as a friend or acquaintance, looking into general information on how to adopt a child  will be of the most benefit as you will be subject to all of the requirements your state has set in place for legal adoption. When you are adopting a child of someone you know, it is vital that you discuss if the adoption will be open. If the adoption will be closed, how will that be possible in your situation as you know the person? The "lifetime movie" story of a child finding out later on that their Aunt or mom's best friend is really their mom later in life is never the right scenario to enter into. Chances are, the adoption will be open. Sit down and discuss what that might look like. What will you tell the child and when? How often will you visit? What expectations do you have of one another?

    Consult an adoption attorney who is well versed in adoptions where the birth mother is known by the adoptive parents. The guidance they may be able to provide will be crucial! 
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