The adoption triad is the three groups of people represented
in an adoption story, the child, the birth parents and the adoptive
parents. This is usually represented as
a triangle, with the child at the top and the birth parents and adoptive
parents on the bottom two points. The child is placed at the top of the
triangle because they are the most important part of the triad. It is also said
that the lines between all of the points on the triad are equal in distance
between each other, indicating that there is no less or more significance
between the adoptive parents and the birth parents.
The first and most important part of the adoption triad, is
the adopted child. Everything the birth parents and the adoptive parents do,
should include putting the child first. The adoptive child will probably
question his/her identity at some point in their life, this is when having an
open adoption would be helpful to explain to the child his/her birth heritage
or lineage. But it is also important for
the child to know their adoptive heritage or lineage, after all, that is their
family line. It is extremely important
for the adoptive parents (and birth parents if you have a relationship) to
speak kindly of the either parents and make sure the child knows he/she is
loved and was created for a purpose.
The second part of the triad family is the adoptive parents.
Even if either one of the birth parents are unknown, they still are what
created the child to begin with. The adoptive child will always be linked to
his/her birth parents, whether the adoption is open or closed. The fact that
they are adopted will never change. Having an open adoption would increase the
probability of knowing more about his/her birth family’s history, medical
history, heritage, lineage, etc.
The third part of the triad family is the adoptive parents.
They are who the child will refer to as his/her parents. They will forever be connected to the birth
family as their child will always have the connection of being adopted. It is
just as important, if not more important, for the adoptive parents to encourage
the child about being adopted. Talk about it often. Use positive adoption
language and avoid saying things like “given up” when talking about the child’s
The most important thing to remember about the adoption
triad, is that you put the child first.
For more information, check out the following links: