7 Emotions Birth Mothers Are NOT Allowed To Feel

I am always shocked by people who seem to be the judge of what other people are or are not allowed to feel about their life, their decisions, their circumstances, or their experiences. There is no time limit to going through the process of feelings or limitations to what people are allowed to rightfully feel.

For starters, you’re not allowed to be at peace. But you also shouldn’t feel regret.

“Women who give up children for adoption hate children.”

“I could never give up my child. I love them too much.”

“Why would you let someone raise your own child?”

“I would never let my child give up a baby. I would raise the baby myself.”

Sigh. Yes, I’ve heard these and others like it over and over again, especially thirty years ago when I first placed my son for adoption. More than the actual words were the looks, the rolled eyes, the gaping mouths, and the look of disbelief that was always followed by whispers. From adults. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to scream, “What are we, a bunch of 7th graders?” Good grief.

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Sarah - Content Specialist for adopting.org, is a mother both biologically and through domestic infant open adoption. She resides with her husband and two boys in Ohio. She is passionate about open adoption and adoption education. In her free time she enjoys cooking, photography, writing, and hiking. You can find more of her adoption work at Heart For Open Adoption on Facebook or on Adoption.com.

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