In a short narrative, Rene Denfeld recounts creating a family through foster adoption. Denefeld, who suffered abuse as a child, saw her daughter in a black and white, low-quality photo. When the she met her child Luppe, it was paralyzing. But Denefled couldn’t understand why people weren’t in line to adopt this beautiful child. Why weren’t more people creating a family by adopting these sweet children?
Denfeld recounts that it was no easy task being a first-time parent. There were many adjustments and hardships, but when her caseworker said again, “I think you’re just right for him,” that didn’t stop her.
Her first son struggled with a serious attachment disorder–one that caused intense rage. It took a long time and a bit of “floor time” to help her son feel safe and permanent in their home. And then before too long, her caseworker said again, “I think you’re just right for him.” One more baby boy joined their family with his own struggles.
What’s beautiful about this story is Denefeld’s chance to create a family that she didn’t have growing up. In her children she saw herself, but she was the one who could stop the cycle of abuse. She writes, “By adopting from foster care, I became the mother I had needed and rewrote my own story. I got to have a childhood all over again, the right one… If there is such thing as a cycle of abuse, I broke it over the wheel of my own desire.”